5 simple ways to burn off that chocolate hangover

photo: Dryfish

It’s been all about the chocolate. We’ve drooled over chocolate. We’ve talked about chocolate. And we’ve eaten chocolate. Lots of chocolate.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve eaten so much chocolate that I feel like I’m made of the stuff.  I know I need to work out, but frankly I’m feeling too fat and sluggish to even contemplate serious exercise.  In cases like these, I’ve found that sticking with the tried and true basic workouts are best. With that in mind, I’ve compiled a simple list of exercises that are quick calorie burners but don’t require too much effort.

If you are already working out, I’m sure these exercises are nothing new to you. If that is the case, work on perfecting your form and coordinating your breathing.  Enjoy!

Exercise 1

This first exercise has just a minute or two of cardio to warm you up.
First search your house for any uneaten chocolate. Once you have gathered it all, wrap it in a baby blanket and tie it up tightly.

Sneak to your neighbor’s house and leave the bundle on the doorstep. Ring the doorbell and run like hell.
Make sure you really put some effort into your sprint and be sure to pump your arms.  Keep your head up to expand your chest. Of course, if you can get your neighbor to chase you, this exercise will be most effective.
180 -280 calories burned.

Exercise 2

This one can be done with a partner if you wish – there’s nothing like a little competition to spur on your workout.  First, gather up all the empty chocolate wrappers and line them up in a precise line on the table. Make sure the shiny sides are down.  Now, very carefully lean down – be sure to engage your abdominals here – and take a deep breath. Stick your tongue out as far as you can and start licking. Pay attention now, as it is easy to lose your form. Lick until your tongue feels the burn. Then flip the wrappers over and repeat. If you have a partner, see who can go the longest.
200 calories burned minus 25 calories consumed in crumbs. Total: 175 calories burned.

Exercise 3

The next exercise combines two important fitness elements; it will sharpen your mental game and as well as benefit your lungs. It’s also just the right thing to do. In this series, you will honor each and every chocolate bunny you ate with a memorial service.
Make sure you sing and if you can’t hire a band, march around yourself. Pounding your chest and wailing will increase your heart rate rather nicely but if you do be sure to find a good rhythm with your breathing.
Memorial with singing: 200 calories burned.  Pounding and wailing: add 150 calories.

Exercise 4

Pop on your runners and fill your gym bag with your leftover Easter egg paint.  Drive to the grocery store (be sure to drive as walking or running may wind you). Once there, head to the coolers and climb in. Resist the urge to drink any chocolate milk – remember you’re here to work out. Grab an egg carton and paint the eggs inside. Give it a good go, and don’t give up! You can do it. For an advanced workout, hand cartons out the door to customers as they approach but be careful not to hyper extend your arms. Improper form is more than just embarrassing, it can be dangerous.
15 calories burned per egg, 25 per press and a bonus 50 from shivering.

Exercise 5

This one you can do at home, although some people find they get a better result when they do it at the gym. Start by taking off all your clothes. (Note: Always use caution with flying objects; you may need your sports bra or protective gear for this exercise). Slowly, gingerly, keeping your head steady and your eyes ahead of you, step on the scale. Take a deep breath in, look down, scream, and jump off. It may take some concentration to get the steps down pat, but my god, the results will be worth it.
Repeat as necessary.
600 calories burned per hour.

Final notes: as with any workout, be sure to cool down with some nice slow stretches.  Don’t forget to rehydrate, and remember: by next Easter you will be back in fine form!