11 fun running partner mind games

~Mike Romaniuk shares “The Secret Thoughts of Men”

Thank goodness for running partners!  They motivate us.  They keep us focused. And when we feel mean and nasty?  They can be a lot of fun too! (I look at it as one of the psychological benefits of running. My partner….um, not so much.)

Here are 11 fantastic ways to pass the time when exercising.  Some of these may seem like they only apply to opposite sex partners but those are the best ones to use on a same sex partner!

1 – Right at the bottom of the largest hill in your jogging route, ask your partner if they are attracted to you.

2 – Mention in passing that if something happens to them, you want first dibs on their spouse.

3 – Plan a jog for 5:00pm.  Then text her to ask if it’s ok to start it at 5:03 instead.  Then text her again to let her know you’ll be ready early – 4:55pm.  Then text her that you couldn’t find your socks, so it’ll be 5:04pm before you can start.  And on.  And on.  And on.

4 – Every 2 minutes ask “Are you OK?”, “How are you holding up?” or “Are you going to make it?”  – especially fun to do when she is having a ‘good day’ exercising.  Don’t explain why you’re asking.

5 – When passing a group of the opposite sex of your jogging partner, say, a little too loudly, “Well, I’m glad that cleaned up your rash.  Now if you can just get those sores to go away you’ll be dating material again…”

6 – During your cool down ask your partner what deodorant they are using.  When they ask why, tell them it’s because you want to make sure you don’t ever accidentally buy it.

7 – Grab a high school math book and find some scenario questions (‘train leaving city A at 50km/hr’ style questions).  Adapt them with real local places & names.  Ask your partner the questions at the height of her cardio training.

8 – Stop dead and stare into your partner’s eyes for an uncomfortably long period of time.  When they ask what you’re doing, say “I thought so” and then walk away with a big grin on your face.

9 – An ‘accidental’ push near a body of water (stream, river, lake, etc) always works wonders.  Pretending to trip when you do it can get you out of some of the aftermath.

10 – At the start of your workout, walk up to your partner and give her a close hug and then a kiss on the cheek.  Then pretend it never happened when they ask you about it.

11 – If you are the one who times your workouts, add 25% extra time without telling your partner.  When they start to say how tired they are, play innocent.

About Mike Romaniuk: After suffering from severe burnout and suffering the loss of his beloved pet muskrat in 2002, Mike spent a year living with a small group of crabs on the East coast of Thailand.  Among many spiritual and personal insights Mike had, the greatest was his conversion to the religion of the higher power of fitness. In 2004, just one year after returning, Mike participated in his first 145km adventure race.  In 2005 he completed a half marathon in high heels. In 2008 he completed the Ironman Hawaii, placing 10^th overall – running backwards and riding a unicycle.

Despite his obvious physical prowess, Mike prefers to remain outside the public spotlight. His only public appearance is biweekly blogging about the Secret Thoughts of Men for Girlgetstrong.

*Yup, the above story about Mike Romaniuk is completely fabricated