I tried Cross Country Skiing for the first time yesterday and I feel like the victim of a serious car accident today.  I’m walking a bit funny, my body hurts from the falls and, after landing on my right wrist one too many times, I’m even having a bit of trouble typing this blog post.

Guys can be notoriously bad at trying new things – especially when we horribly fail (or feel like we are horribly failing).  Even more so when it’s in front of a female fitness partner who completely kicks their butt:

My fitness partner yesterday was a competitive skier for 20 years, snow shoe-aholic, and generally glows whenever she sees the white stuff.  Snow to her is as natural as spinach is to Popeye.

I was traumatized at a very young age with ice skating and then avoided all winter/cold sports completely.  In my life I have downhill skied once (the ‘tiny tots’ ski lesson group did circles around me – literally), snowshoed a few times and that’s pretty much it.

Yesterday could have been an epic failure.  I could have had a miserable time.  But I didn’t – despite sucking horribly.

Obviously in any situation like this, a man has to bring it to the table.  You can’t force him to enjoy something, be in a good mood or to try to take the risk of putting effort into something and failing.

Having said that, looking back on yesterday there are a few things that I will admit really helped:

• My fitness partner offered a tiny bit of advice (30 seconds or so ) when I started but after that only gave me advice when I asked for it.  Constant, unsolicited advice can be really emasculating to guys.  Guys don’t like asking for help but trust me we will if we really need it.

• She didn’t always hang around right beside me.  She often went ahead, not too far, and then got distracted by other things – so not to appear as being bored waiting for me.  It let me try things without someone watching my every failure – but she didn’t go far enough that I felt left behind or rushed.

• The most powerful thing she said to me yesterday was that her main concern wasn’t my abilities, where we went to or what happened.  It was that I had a good time so I would come out with her again.  This was a huge motivation and kept my focus on a positive future versus the horrible present.

Again, you can never force your male fitness partner to have a good time and if he gets into a negative mental state it’s his fault and not yours.  But those three things really helped to support me, as a guy, and keep me on a positive mental trajectory for the afternoon.

Now I’m off to find a bottle of Advil and an ice pack.

Oh God I hurt.